As I sit here, 1,191 miles away from my son, I am filled with a sense of peace and gratitude. Before I came, I felt an immense and crushing guilt about leaving him. He has been anxious about me going, begging me to stay with him. I am choosing in this moment not to let that guilt linger. I am very blessed that I have this opportunity to spend a few short days in Portugal with my dad and stepmum. I am here to check in on my daddy who had an operation recently to repair a broken collarbone (some say he should not have been whizzing round Vietnam on a motorbike in his 70s, I say I am very proud of his adventurous spirit and energy levels that put me to shame!). Anyway, here I am, waking on my first day to glorious sunshine, warm weather and a sense of peace I have not felt for some time. I do not take this short break for granted. I know of many members who need this even more than I do. I truly wish I could bring you all with me and give you a slice of peace that you all deserve so much. So, I have been thinking this morning about what I could write about that might bring you a little bit of peace and I have landed on encouraging you to let go of your guilt.  When you become a parent, there are lots of things you are warned about – sleepless nights, your social life has ended, projectile vomit, terrible twos, disgusting nappies and so much more. What I was not prepared for was the crushing guilt that came with being a parent. Am I a good enough mum? Am I the reason he is like this? What am I doing wrong? Why is my son the only one wearing his PE kit on school photo day (I will blame that one on my own ADHD!)? This list of reasons to feel bad about yourself can be endless and it can create a sense of unease, impact your mental health and leave you doubting yourself as a parent. Layer onto this being a SEN parent and you must also contend with the parent blame, referral to parenting courses and the constant disbelievers who leave you doubting yourself. As if that isn’t enough, the most crushing guilt can come when you start to think: I just need to get away from my child I need some time for me I have lost who I am because of my child I love my child, but I wish the situation was different I feel trapped I can’t cope anymore These are the thoughts that many do not dare to utter, feeling it may reflect badly, make them sound like they don’t love their child or make others think badly of them. Well, I am telling you now that it is OK to have these thoughts and there is absolutely no reason to feel shame or guilt. In SEN Parent Support group, we do not judge, we understand. We do not shame, we feel the pain with you. So here goes on how I truly feel about my own situation: Writing this here, I do not feel guilt about having these thoughts. I did not sign up for this. I never imagined this would be our reality. I had envisioned a child who would excel at school and have a bright future filled with happiness and contentment. I sometimes grieve for the lost dreams of our family and that is OK. I am not a bad mum to wish that our life was easier, I am just human after all (with a sprinkle of superhuman of course, because I am a SEN parent after all!). Today I encourage you to think hard about whether you are carrying the burdensome weight of guilt with you. Is it weighing you down? Are you doubting yourself or having thoughts that you do not share in case you are judged? If yes, how can you release these? You could speak to a trusted friend, write them down in a journal, share them with us or even write them on a piece of paper then rip it into tiny pieces and see all your guilt torn up. There really is no need to carry this around with you my lovely member. After all, you too are human (with just a little sprinkle of superhuman). As I sip my coffee, bathed in the golden glow of the Portuguese sun, and looking over the coast of the Algarve, I’m reminded of one final truth: guilt may be part of parenting, but so is resilience. So here’s to letting go of that crushing weight, finding peace in the chaos, and—most importantly—embracing the fact that it’s perfectly acceptable to need time away for yourself… in fact it is essential to recharge the batteries that our little munchkins drain with their persistent whining, constant demands and, for some, their instance that you make every demand into some awful gamified version to hide the fact you just want them to brush their blooming teeth! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to remind my dad why playing football and a broken collarbone don’t mix—right after I convince him that a zip-lining tour isn’t “just a gentle ride through the trees.” Some battles we fight for our children, others for our parents, but either way, we deserve a laugh along the way. 🌞