As the school year draws to an end, we want to recognise YOU and everything YOU do to support your children.
You may be breathing a sigh of relief at the upcoming respite from thinking about school. You may be dreading the school holidays – your child has become weary at school and the repercussions of that are showing in their behaviour at home. You may not know how to feel because, as a result of the battles you have been fighting, you are faced with your own trauma response.
AT SEN PSG, we are passionate about helping other parents to be empowered, to know their rights, to use the law and regulations to get what their children deserve. However, we do know that the fight can have a major impact on our own mental health. We have been there. Some of us are still there. We feel you!
With a SEN child, it is not always as easy as saying ‘take some time for you’. If you have a child struggling with separation anxiety, at home with you unable to attend school or you are their only safe adult and cannot leave them, these words can seem hollow. You may think that this is impossible to do. So, I wanted to share some thoughts today on some little things you can do that may help YOU.
– Breathing exercises can help to calm a frazzled nervous system. You can do this sat on the toilet when you get just a few minutes to yourself, as you lay in bed at night with thoughts whizzing around your mind or at the start of the day before the kids are up. Find a quiet space and just spend 5 minutes. Close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and count to 3. Breathe out through your mouth, counting to 6. As you breathe, focus your attention on the sensations you are feeling. If thoughts invade your mind, recognise it and move it to one side and focus again on the breathing and the sensations. Allow your mind to still. Try to spend 5-10 minutes just breathing when you get the chance.
– Journalling can be a fantastic way to get the words out of your mind and release your thoughts and feelings. This could be a physical book you keep on your bedside table and write a little bit at bedtime. It could be done on your phone and you just write little bits throughout the day. You could even use a text to speech app. It can be as much or as little as you want to say. If you struggle with journalling, just record what was difficult, what went well and what are you grateful for today.
– Be kind to yourself. This journey, for some of us is creating a genuine trauma response. That is some people’s reality. It could be that the admin, the organisation, having to assert yourself may trigger your own SEN. It could be that the injustice of it all creates a fire inside you that impacts your mental health. It could be that your child is distressed, and you absorb their pain every day. I hear many parents apologising for struggling. Never apologise for this. This battle can be exceptionally hard and it challenges us in so many ways. Never feel bad for struggling because it just shouldn’t be this hard.
– Ask for help. We were never meant to parent alone. Remember the phrase ‘it takes a community to raise a child’. We are part of your community.
