As I look outside my window this morning, the wind is howling, creating chaos beyond the safety of my home. My garden is strewn with leaves and branches that have fallen from the large trees that surround us, some of which shocked me as they struck our windows with a frightening bang. But, if I look beyond the storm I see blue sky, the sun is shining, and the rain-strewn leaves are glistening as the sunshine bounces off them. There is such beauty in the natural storm that rages outside while I feel safely tucked away in my safe space.

It has made me think about my son. Since he hit burnout, his behaviour presentations have been destructive, aggressive, defiant. At times, he has appeared unmoved by the hurtful words he has used or the violence he used against us. Our life has been turned upside down since they day he left school for the last time in March and has been unable to return since. A storm has raged inside him.

He is resistant to leaving the safe confines of our house as, beyond the front door, danger lies. He cannot control or predict what he will experience in the wider scary world, but here at home it is predictable, comfortable and safe.

Beyond the stormy behaviours we see is my sunshine boy . My smart, funny, talented and amazing boy shines behind the defiance and outwardly resistant behaviours. That’s what keeps me going every day. He is my purpose. The fight for support, recognition, EHCP and acceptance of his needs is leaving stormy debris through our life. Our mental health is impacted, anxiety is high, stress is just a part of every day now, but I still see that ray of sunshine trying to break through and reach us.

We will weather this storm. We will get our son what he needs and deserves. We will continue to make him feel loved, safe and supported. One day, the storm will pass, and we will again venture outside of this safe space, clear the debris left behind and walk through the calm stillness that lies beyond.

Out of our storm has come my other purpose: to work with Andrea and support other parents struggling to navigate a system that works against us, seemingly trying to blow us down with the force of their bureaucracy.

If this resonates with you, we are here for you. If you are worried about the return to school, need support in what steps you need to take next or just want to share your own journey with like-minded people, we are here and we are your safe space .

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